Merry Christmas, everyone. I don't know how you celebrate, but my mom and I go caroling in honor of the Gospel's opening volley. We bless our neighbors with singing to commemorate the angelic announcement to old men and young girls, foreign dignitaries, and shepherds sleeping rough that we’ve all been invited to the party. The King is born among us. He is one of us. And He is for us. The kingdom of God is still at hand.
I meant to release this episode, “Purity despite Virginity,” earlier last week, but time got away from me. For the last few weeks, my best friend Aysha and I have been meditating on the Virgin Mary and her encounter with God. Aysha delivered a sermon last Sunday on Mary's song. I will echo Aysha's sermon by giving another teaching from the life of the Virgin Mother of Christ.
Anchor
And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”
And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”
And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servantof the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. - Luke 1:30-38
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I was reading a poem about Mary by Anthony Gurrola, and I stopped at the same word: purity. I cocked my head to the side, feeling a mild sense of offense flare up inside my chest. Anthony’s illustrations and imagined conversations between biblical characters minister to me so frequently that I was shocked that he would fall into this patriarchial trap. Writing "purity" as a polite synonym for "virginity???" The virtue of Mary, yet again tied to her virginity, as if that were THE thing, the only thing that could qualify a woman for service to God. Come on! Are we in the 12th century?
Offense, however, is neither a spiritual gift nor a spiritual fruit. And I felt convicted. Was I 100% sure my initial judgment about Anthony's intentions was right? Or was I the one who had made an unholy assumption?
When I paused, I realized it wasn't purity on its own that troubled me. It was its continual (and almost exclusive) association with a woman's virginity that troubled me. But if I looked at purity on its own, outside of a sexual context, could I understand how Mary was pure of heart?
And then it clicked: Mary was pure of heart, not because she was a virgin but because she valued God over her virginity. She was willing to give up everything virginity afforded her in order to serve God. She didn't covet self-righteousness, status, money, a husband, or even her reputation. She purely desired God.
As a young girl from a poor family in 1st century Judea, Mary didn't have much in the way of power. Her worth was in getting married and producing children. To command a high bride price, one, of course, had to be a virgin. The prevailing thinking was harsh—who pays top dollar for used goods? Female virginity was the sign of a wise investment. If your bride-to-be had a history of promiscuity, could you ever be sure her children were really yours? Mama's baby, Papa's maybe.
Every girl’s religious piety, societal reputation, and financial status were tied to her virginity. So, it couldn't be that God chose Mary merely because she was a virgin. Mary's purity is linked to her monolatry.
In a world with many false gods, Mary would not place any idols before her God, not even the one society had made out of a woman's virginity.
That's why I love Mary. Mary is not the heroine of purity culture and the millions of people trying to prove their value with virginity (myself included); she is our scandalous critique. To affirm her pure love for God, she was willing to sacrifice her perceived sexual purity in the eyes of the world.
You must understand that an immaculate conception was just as preposterous then as it is now. Just as no one believed Noah (remember, rain had never fallen on the earth before the flood), no one believed Mary except Elizabeth, Joseph, and Zachariah, who had had encounters with God of their own. Despite their support, Mary would have been ridiculed. She would have been the talk of the town. Her family could have stoned her.
Though she deserved the benefits of virginity, Mary was willing to give that all up on a word from God. She said yes to God even though it meant ire in her father's eyes. She said yes to God even though the women at the well likely called her a whore. Even though it could mean sacrificing the security and love that Joseph promised her. She said yes.
The story of Mary is the only case of a miraculous God-given birth producing shame for the mother rather than honor. Consider all the barren women—Sarah, Rebekkah, Rachel, Hannah, and Elizabeth, to name a few. These women were scorned because they could not have children. Yet, God answered their cries and miraculously enabled childbirth. For women, this was the societal equivalent of Jesus cleansing a leper. Yet a maiden becoming miraculously pregnant is more like contracting leprosy. It was considered socially shameful, not glorious. Just as the Son of God was brought low to serve the world, Mary allowed herself to be brought low in the eyes of the world to serve God.
[It is interesting that after Jesus, we never again see an instance of God's miraculous intervention in the case of barrenness. When a woman cries out and says to Jesus, "Blessed is the womb who bore you and the breasts that nursed you." He corrects her and says, "Blessed are those who hear the word and believe." It's belief that's counted as righteousness, not whether or not you're a virgin or whether you give birth to a son.]
Jesus' words readjust our focus. Marvel at the purity of heart, not the purity of body or the fecundity of the womb. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." This statement was true of Mary. She not only saw God, she gave birth to Him.
The purity of Mary is demonstrated in her faith that God would do for her and her son what the world said only virginity and marriage could do. No matter if the village thought her son was a bastard, she believed He would be called the Son of the Most High. Even though Joseph, an heir of David, would likely reject her, Mary believed her son would be given the throne of David and would reign forever. Though she would face ridicule, she trusted God's message that she was indeed Favored. Favored she was female, single, and childless. Favored she was as an unwed mother. Favored as a widow. Favored when her son was labeled a criminal and crucified. Favored when He rose.
What mattered most was Mary’s faith. This is why Elizabeth says, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord." Luke 1:45
This is why we forever call her The Virgin: because for her faithfulness, many called her a slut.
Just as Abraham is sealed forever as "father" through his willingness to surrender his only son, Mary is sealed forever as "virgin" because of her willingness to surrender the honor and security of giving birth to a son in wedlock. Mary didn't remain an actual virgin all her life, but when we call her Virgin, we repudiate the slander of the world, confess the truth of God to her, and vindicate the truth about her.
Maybe Anthony Gurrola chose the word purity because it was never about virginity for him, Mary, or God. It was always about faith.
Verily,
Alysia
Sail
Below is another prayer-poem by Anthony Gurrola about Mary, the Mother of Christ, and Eve, the Mother of the Living. May it bless you as we bring Advent to a close and celebrate the new life being shaped within us.
Rejoice, weary soul. For His Presence makes all things new. Every mistake has been burned away, and only the embrace of His goodness remains. I know you have been tired (I have been too) He is giving rest, and rest abundantly. I know you have been beat down by the world, He is giving healing right now. And I know sometimes, it's our own fault. He is forgiving right now. Today, hope is being carried by way of purity and reaching out to us who forgot just how good He is. I know I tend to forget. I want my heart to be like Mary's. That when you carry Jesus within you, It is unmistakable. His embrace isn't condemnation, It is completion. He isn't here to make you feel better about your sin, He is here to make you entirely and eternally whole. He is here to restore. To make everything new again. The fruit that you ate has been replaced by the fruit that you bear. The serpent that you listened to has been replaced by the Lion that lives and breathes within you. And the exile that you faced has been redacted with "Welcome Home!" God became human not only to touch Earth, But so that you may once again touch Heaven. When you appear, my Lord, may my soul feel it's worth. May the serpent's head be crushed by heels of peace. May this weary and broken world rejoice once again. Because you are making all things new, And I am not the exception. I'm the expectation.
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